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Waiter, I can't eat this meat, it's crawling with maggots ! Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by !
How do hens encourage their football teams? They egg them on!
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ? A petticoat !
Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons? They're short of breath!
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...
Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !
How do bees get to school ? By school buzz !
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk ? Dirty looks from the mouse !
First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.
Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at first sight,' said Julie. 'It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.