Anon. Quotes

f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng.
Optimization hinders evolution.
He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes.
Power (n) The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.
Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages.
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though.
The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.
I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself.
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything.
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted.
That Jim Brown. He says he isn't Superman. What he really means is that Superman isn't Jimmy Brown
The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out...
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.
If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well.
There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.
Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently.
Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
Original Poems for Infant Minds My MotherWho ran to help me when I fell,And would some pretty story tell,Or kiss the place to make it wellMy Mother.
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Old programmers never die. They just branch out to a new address.
Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique.
The NeXT Computer The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.
WARNING Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
Earth is 98 full. Please delete anyone you can.
Good, better, best never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best.
Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one (YN)
Sped up my XT ran it on 220v Works greO
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
Intel has announced its next chip the Repentium.
We are told never to cross a bridge until we come to it, but this world is owned by men who have 'crossed bridges' in their imagination far ahead of the crowd.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman.
Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can't be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it.
Hanlon's RazorNever attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Great minds think alike.
Real programmers don't write in PLI. PLI is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.
Ama me fideliter Fidem meam noto De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota.
The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.
Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.
Hit any user to continue.
An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing.
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers
Old hackers never die. They just go to bitnet.
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
Silence is one great art of conversation.
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename'
CDOS CDOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
Want to make your computer go really fast Throw it out a window.
General Failure's Fault. Not Yours.
Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
A poet is someone who is astonished by everything.
Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy Shell to DOS...
Is my friend in the bunker or is the bastard on the green
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE
Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered.
The Internet is like a vault with a screen door on the back. I don't need jackhammers and atom bomb to get in when I can walk through the door.
Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself.
Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever.
Lat Love me faithfullySee how I am faithfulWith all my heartAnd all my soulI am with youThough I am far away.
Crime, like disease, is not interesting it is something to be done away with by general consent, and that is all about it.
Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night.
Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.
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