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A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two." The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm glad we had time to discuss this important question." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job.
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alpaca ! Alpaca who ? Alpaca picnic lunch !
Which burger is famous for a long nose? Cyrano de Burgerac!
The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.
Waiter, I can't eat this meat, it's crawling with maggots ! Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by !
Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say "No".
How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.
Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bolivia ! Boliva who ? Boliva me, I know what I'm talking about !