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How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion!
What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport? Miniature golf!
After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of cars in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the McLaren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the youths as most races can be won or lost in the pit lane. The first race came along and the car came into the pits. The youths went to work but the McLaren team boss noticed a real problem. Not only had the youths replaced all four wheels within four seconds, but within 10 seconds, they'd re-sprayed and re-numbered the car and sold it to the Ferrari Team!
What is the dogs favourite city ? New Yorkie !
Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Q. "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?" A. "So that if the seat falls while they're drinking, it won't smack them in the back of the head"
What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night.
What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives? A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!
Ropin' and Ranchin' by Larry Yett