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What word grows smaller when you add two letters to it? Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.

When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button? When somebody says, 'Well done'!

Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop into the river and drift out of sight They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom. They tied the noose around the second cowboy's head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away. As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, "Please! Would yaw'l tighten that noose a little bit? I can't swim!"

What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ? A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !

What should you do if a monster runs through your front door? Run through the back door.

Have you seen www.stickytape.com? Yes, I can't tear myself away.

What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar? Gimme a slug of whiskey.

Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.

What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !

Comments made by Programmers when their programs don't work: Strange... I've never heard about that. It did work yesterday. Well, the program needs some fixing. How is this possible? The machine seems to be broken. Has the operating system been updated? The user has made an error again. There is something wrong in your test data. I have not touched that module! Yes yes, it will be ready in time. You must have the wrong executable. Oh, it's just a feature. I'm almost ready. Of course, I just have to do these small fixes. It will be done in no time at all. It's just some unlucky coincidence. I can't test everything! THIS can't do THAT. Didn't I fix it already? It's already there, but it has not been tested. It works, but it's not been tested. Somebody must have changed my code. There must be a virus in the application software. Even though i t does not work, how does it feel? How come you didn't find it during the system testing? It's a setup problem. And the Ultimate: A smart user would never do that!

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