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What does a spider do when he gets angry ? He goes up the wall !
A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of woman friends who asked, "How is she?" The nurse replied, "Oh, she's quite dopey." One of the friends said, "We know that, but how is she healthwise?"
Knock Knock Who's there ! Butch ! Butch who ? Butch your arms around me !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !
Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report. Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject !"
Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying involved.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
Who writes hit musicals on the Internet? Andrew Lloyd Webber.